I start my fall term at college today!

I'm writing this between classes right now. I've only been to one so far and it's way boring because it's stuff I already know. Hopefully it'll be a nice, easy A though.
I got a lot done already today with my almost five hour break between my first and second class, so I'm not as stressed anymore.
I'm hoping the rest of the day goes well and I shall update about all my classes later this evening.

Ugh.

My fall term at school starts tomorrow and my motivation and excitement for school has dropped considerably. I'm not even in classes yet and I'm sick of the homework. How pathetic. Life's just got me stressing out a bit for various reasons and I'm just tired. Fighting back tears constantly and being irritable and easily agitated. It's all really annoying.

And then I'm really bad at the "five things" list idea I had because I can't think of a theme for my next list. I had an idea, but silly me, I didn't have my journal with me to write it down to blog about it at a later date.

Can I go to sleep for a few days?

An admittance

I'm really very insecure sometimes. I've always kept myself in denial of it, but it's a true thing. I play it off like things don't bother me, but sometimes the smallest comment about something maybe about what I'm wearing or whatever can really bum me out. I'm also really insecure in relationships and friendships. I constantly find myself wondering if my boyfriend really loves me or if he just puts up with me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings. Do my friends actually enjoy being my friend or do they pity me. They're stupid thoughts, and I often feel really stupid for thinking them because of course my friends are really my friends and my boyfriend does love me, otherwise he wouldn't still be with me after three years. I just get too down on myself sometimes, and it's hypocritical of me because I tell others not to be so down on themselves, and that's not a good way to live.

Surely, I'm not the only person who feels this way, but feeling this way sucks.

Five Things: Creativity

So I've decided, I think I'm going to write a "Five things" list every week. Five things to better my life and the world around me. 

Enhancing my creativity.

1. Fill at least one page of my sketch book every day. It can be anything: practicing my shading techniques, random doodles, practicing body parts I have trouble with, three-dimensional shapes, etc. 
2. Fill at least two pages in my journal every day. Again, it can be anything: thoughts, poetry, pieces of stories I feel inspired to write, notes and observations about the world around me, etc.
3. Take both my sketch book and journal with me everywhere I go, so they're both in easy reach if inspiration strikes.
4. Read books I haven't read instead of continuing to read books I've read a million times already. I own so many books, and my family owns a lot of books. I could be reading these books, but I read the same books all the time.
5. Let my mind wander occasionally. Go to the park, lay in the grass and just let my mind go. 

I'm really excited for life right now. I just feel really good about it.
Something I most excited for is to start training myself with bike riding because next year, my grandma and I are going on a massive bike trip. She does it pretty often, where she'll ride with a group of ladies around various parts of the US. She's a fucking inspiration because she's had both of her hips replaced, major heart surgery, and she's not exactly the fittest woman in the world, but she's ridden from New Orleans to Niagara Falls in one trip. She's ridden around volcanoes and stuff in Hawaii. It's crazy, she's amazing! So anyway, next year, we're either going to go to Idaho, Niagara Falls or Washington DC. I would be happy going to any of them because I haven't been to many other states, so any of them would be a great experience. I'm really hoping it's DC or Niagara Falls though, because they're two places I've always wanted to visit.

Other than that, I'm just excited to finish up my summer term. I've got finals this Wednesday, then I'm off for a few weeks, and then I get to kick but with fourteen credit hours.